Writing challenges me.
It's hard to take my limitless thoughts and limit them onto a page.
How do I portray struggle, passion, & life into words? Into my own voice?
I want what I say to mean something to you.
I want you to know how I feel.
If I choke & can't muster up the perfect words, then I'd rather not write at all,
or say anything at all.
I have so much to tell & I've so much heat in my bones, but when I try to explain my heart to you...
I can't even get it out of my chest.
How can I take what I've seen into a feeling?
This doesn't mean I NEVER write.
I do, just in small increments.
Most likely they are never finished.
I have come to terms with my habits of refusing to write anything at all.
More recently I've developed something that works in the meantime.
& that "something" seems to be a form of short.
& when I say short, I mean 2-20 words.
They are more ideas rather than full thoughts.
I know that you might not understand me.
[Which, I secretly wish you would.]
I guess, the best way to describe this part of me would be this:
I live. I think. I try to write.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Why is it that the people who have affected you the most only last a short step?
It's kind of disheartening to know that they meant more to you than you did to them.
I came across this Aesop's Fable: The Gnat & The Bull
A gnat alighted on one of the horns of a bull, and remained sitting there for a considerable time. When it had rested sufficiently and was about to fly away, it said to the bull, "Do you mind if I go now?" The bull merely raised his eyes and remarked, without interest, "It's all one to me. I didn't notice when you came, and I shan't know when you go away."
We may often be more consequence in our own eyes than in the eyes of our neighbors.
Bringing this all to Jesus, I know that my life is being taken care of. Fully & lovingly. It's true, I am aware of this. But to be frank, I still feel that twinge.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
----I heard this for the 1st time today. I don't know why I haven't heard it before. I recently mentioned her and it was just funny that she came up again. I'm glad that she did--
----I was placed in between these words when I heard it spoken. Nothing moves me more than the truth. The people in this world, even those who are closest to you, can lead us to be more susceptible towards guardedness. I am this way... separated... aloof. Maybe too much? Some days, I have to force myself to smile. These days, I am doing my best. This poem takes me out of my head. It's for Him.
ANYWAY: Mother Teresa
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
People need help but will attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.